I'm going to hire a very part-time secretary to help me with all my paperwork. Especially with setting up a new file cabinet I'm getting soon. I have too many bad days to be able to keep up. I'm also hiring my handyman Dave to help me set up my office. I still have boxes to unpack, and pictures to hang, including some big ones! It's just too much for the amount of energy I have. I don't really understand it, but I've had this increasing fatigue for a few years now – a "gift" of the liver disease. I have to get proactive.
Last week I had a very good week but this week I've already been down two days in a row. I don't get it. Oh, I think I said that already. I have learned this lesson over and over, though: be kind, be gentle to yourself. And that's a message I want you, my readers, to hear, too.
That's how we should all treat ourselves. I'm not promoting laziness and not fighting back when times get tough. But there are times to "buck up" and to fight back, and there are times that those terms mean something else you should be doing. Like being nice to Number One. When you're hurting for a long time (grieving, in physical pain, worried about how best to help an elderly parent or a child having problems at school), you need breaks now and then to build yourself back up mentally, physically, and spiritually. Sometimes it leads to being able to see a new perspective, recognize a solution you had overlooked.
I've very happy to report that I found a dietitian on my wavelength who will coach me to be the most well-nourished and happy vegan in the West. When I told her that I tell people that I am a "vegan today," she said that was perfect. She believes in following your intuition (like when I get a hankering for broccoli-cheddar soup at Panera) and checking out how it makes me feel. (Wonderful!) She also told me I need B12 and some other stuff. And she's just so upbeat and friendly.
I still believe that a vegan diet can help improve my health. Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) is not a lot of fun. I have special itch lotion loaded with menthol and camphor that I only put on at night because I smell like a walking ad for BenGay. I have nausea with too much frequency. I take candied ginger for that. It works but I still lose my appetite. I haven't been in the hospital for an infection of the bile ducts (cholangitis) in close to two years, so that's good news. And then there's the fatigue. I'm going to get some help so I don't feel so overwhelmed. Maybe then I can write more, rather than having to do paperwork when I'm feeling well – and that's all.